Fifty Shades of Porn

Fifty Shades of Grey is most definitely a piece of erotica novella, every chapter includes a sex scene or two or three and each more descriptive than the last. I can understand why it would be a crowd pleaser as sex always sells and its simplistic way of writing holds your attention. Personally, I found the storyline ‘do-able’ as the main character, Christian Grey, is not your everyday Prince Charming but instead some perverted and damaged S&M control freak billionaire who still remains loveable because he is rich and gorgeous (women are such suckers). The amount of sex in this novel became tedious and I found myself rolling my eyes and skipping it.  Some sex scenes were just way too over the top;

"He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string...what! And...gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet." 

^That’s just gross. I feel gross just typing that out.

I couldn't help but laugh at the poor writing skills displayed at certain intervals, the words; murmur, whisper, oh my and inner goddess are used throughout the book more than 80 times. I never want to see the words inner goddess again nor do I want anyone referring to their vagina as their inner goddess...are you freaking kidding me?

The main reason that compelled me to continue reading the trilogy was my growing curiosity in needing to know why Christian Grey is so messed up. What could have possibly made him so dark? I eventually get my answer in Fifty Shades Darker which is elaborated later in the third installment Fifty Shades Freed. However, these novels are just so slow, a lot of events occur but it just feels like love scene after love scene...which quite frankly is so overdone. The only thing that redeems these last two books is a detached piece of writing at the end of book three describing Christian Grey’s point of view on an event that happened in the first book. As all three books are written from Anastasia Steele’s perspective, I found this little piece to be extremely interesting and clever. The majority of the plot twists are ridiculous but then again it is a fiction-based book. All in all if you have nothing better to do I suggest you give it a go but if you’re looking for a book that will ultimately "change your life", DON'T EVEN BOTHER.

2 out of 5 stars